Mike Clement - Counsellor, Psychotherapist & Supervisor

Penzance, Cornwall, U.K. & Globally Online

What is Counselling?

What Counselling Is Not

Embarking on the counseling journey can be daunting, often fueled by uncertainty or misconceptions about what the process entails. Let's debunk some common myths to put your mind at ease. Counseling is not about:

1. Filling out forms:

• You won't be inundated with paperwork. The focus is on open, meaningful conversation rather than administrative tasks.

2. Lying on a couch and talking about your childhood:

• Contrary to media portrayals, counseling is not confined to clichés. Sessions are tailored to your needs, and you won't find yourself on a couch recounting childhood memories unless you choose to.

3. Having to talk while the counselor stares at you and writes down all you say:

• Counseling is a collaborative dialogue. Your counselor is there to engage, not merely to observe. Sessions are interactive, with a focus on understanding and support.

4. Feeling you have to talk about anything that makes you feel ashamed or vulnerable:

• Your comfort is a priority. You decide the topics to discuss, and there's no pressure to delve into areas that make you uncomfortable.

5. Having to tell your counselor about your deepest, darkest secrets and desires:

• While openness is encouraged, there's no obligation to share more than you're comfortable with. The pace and depth of the conversation are guided by your preferences.

6. The counselor giving you advice or solutions to your problems:

• Counseling is not about someone telling you what to do. Instead, it's a collaborative process where you're supported in exploring your thoughts and finding your own solutions.

7. Having to do homework or assignments between sessions:

• No extra work is assigned. Your progress is shaped by the dialogue during sessions, and there's no expectation for additional tasks outside of that.

8. Having to talk about anything you don't want to:

• Your boundaries are respected. You have the autonomy to decide what you're comfortable discussing, ensuring a safe and supportive environment.

Conclusion

Counseling is a personal journey, and my aim is to make it a positive and empowering experience tailored to your needs.

What makes counselling work?

With over 400 different types of counseling available today, it's essential to recognize that, regardless of the specific approach, certain common factors underpin the success of counseling. Research consistently highlights that the techniques associated with a particular approach play a relatively small role. Instead, the key determinant of success is the relationship forged between the client and the therapist.

The Foundation: Client-Therapist Relationship

The cornerstone of effective counseling is the establishment of a strong and trusting relationship between the client and the therapist. This relationship hinges on several crucial factors:

1. Trust:

   • The client must feel a sense of trust in the counselor, a foundation upon which openness and vulnerability can flourish.

2. Authenticity:

   • The counselor's authenticity is paramount. Being open and honest, without pretense, establishes a genuine connection that is conducive to healing.

3. Empathy:

   • Empathy is a vital quality of a counselor. The ability to understand and resonate with the client's emotions fosters a supportive environment.

4. Non-judgmental Attitude:

   • A non-judgmental stance is crucial for creating a safe space. Clients need assurance that they can express themselves without fear of criticism.

Healing Power of Genuine Relationships

While relationships can cause hurt, a sincere connection with an appropriate counselor has the potential to heal. The therapeutic process transcends specific techniques; it thrives on the human connection that allows individuals to explore, understand, and navigate their challenges.

Conclusion

In essence, the heart of successful counseling lies in the authentic, empathetic, and non-judgmental relationship between the client and the therapist. It is this connection that empowers individuals on their journey of healing and self-discovery.

Person-Centred Counselling

As a person-centered counselor, I embrace several key beliefs that distinguish this approach:

1. Positive Nature of Human Beings:

   • I strongly believe in the innate positivity of all individuals. Regardless of challenges, we strive to better ourselves.

2. Uniqueness and Worth:

   • I recognize the unique worth of each person. Every individual deserves respect and has the capacity to choose their life's direction and values.

3. Individual Expertise:

   • You are the expert of your internal world. Only you truly understand your feelings, determine your identity, and decide the meaning and course of your life.

4. Therapeutic Relationship:

   • The heart of counseling lies in our therapeutic relationship. I aim to provide a non-judgmental, understanding space where you can be heard. I am a genuine person in this relationship, not an expert with solutions.

5. Authenticity and Openness:

   • I am open with my feelings and experiences, creating an authentic space. I won't probe into topics you're not comfortable discussing. I ask questions to ensure understanding, not to interpret your experiences.

6. Acceptance and Honesty:

   • I accept what you share and am honest about my perceptions. I may highlight discrepancies between your words and my observations, encouraging authenticity.

7. Challenging Moments:

   • This approach may be challenging, as I provide direct, honest feedback. The goal is to build trust, offering a safe environment for you to explore your feelings without fear.

In essence, the person-centered approach aims to cultivate a trusting relationship where you feel accepted and understood. The goal is to empower you to express and navigate your emotions effectively.

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"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change."
Carl Rogers

Photos courtesy of Wildscape Photography

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